(Business meeting, LACMA grass, Roald Dahl adult short stories and an apple)
That title has been my motto for 2014. And I would say I am working harder than I have ever worked in my life. But not in the classic up before dawn, head down go go go, fall into bed in the wee hours, asleep before my head hits the pillow. I know that version of myself. I love that version of myself. That's working god dammit! And if there's one thing I learned growing up a Christensen is that work itself is what counts. The effort, the hours, the sacrifices, the ethic. What matters is that you labor. What matters is that you don't spend your day doing nothing. Doing nothing is akin to elder abuse or hurting an animal. It's repulsive.
My other motto for 2014 is Let It Be Easy. Despite its title this one is far harder. It's harder to try for, to want, to prioritize. Because it's about letting the life that is yours come to you. The "work" is allowing. And it directly relates to the sentiment expressed above although they seem at odds.
If work is what I value than the harder I work at something, the more valuable it is. Then how do I value holding still? How do I value allowing my heart to reach out to another's? Or better yet, staying receptive when I feel his love coming toward me? How do I value laying in bed so my body can grow new bone? What about the hours at the acupuncturist, chiropractor, massage therapist, yoga, swimming and walking? How do I value my new business venture if my role is simple and doesn't take much time? All in all, how do I value witnessing and enjoying the life that comes and goes and washes over me without putting twenty rocks in the water to create the churn?
The churn is not what I want. I want to close my eyes at night after a peaceful day and still feel productive. The business, the man, the friends, the feelings that are with me right now came as easily as if I was born with them. This is what destiny looks like. One doesn't struggle and fight and cry and sweat and force destiny. The work is knowing it when you see it.
I am working harder than I ever have in my life. I'm floating down a calm river with the blue sky above. I am allowing myself this. I am seeing the value in this. And I am not throwing a rock in my way just to watch the churn.