Remember when I used to process with you? I miss it too.

I have entered into a masculine tide. I know how dudes feel when their lady asks them what they're thinking and the answer is nothing. The answer is nothing even knowing this word causes shoulders to drop with disappointment and loneliness. Sometimes there really isn't anything to say.

There is no spare energy to wring one's hands and look to the sky for direction. I might hurt myself. Because right now I am moving- to Santa Cruz in a month but also around the yard and the house and the city- preparing! Change is here. It is a force, an engine, a result of effort- physical and painful and achy at night. The evidence of my effort surrounds me and is satisfying to the point of satiation. I am content to do, all day, and sleep soundly with my little cat laid out on the pillow by my head. We rise at seven, throwing back the covers without even a sigh. No time to need, it's time to give.