I know we enjoy spending time together. In fact I feel more at peace and content in his presence that most others. But, subconsciously, I don't think either one of us was looking forward to this outing: the memorial walk to Soupy's grave. On the very last possible day, we went. At 10:30 I arrived at his house with a backpack of snacks and Bello's ashes in a cardboard box. Josh brought Soupy's blanket. We walked... up through lower Pogonip, up U-Con trail, across upper campus, to My Meadow where she lies tucked away. We chatted, about important and unimportant things. He giggled often, which I love. We cried when the dogs came up in conversation and sobbed when we arrived at the loose dirt that marks her grave. I placed the cardboard box on top so that they could be close. Tears. And then food and a joint and a few stickers in our feet and the long walk home. For the first time I felt the gentle shutting of a door. The soft click that says goodnight my little ones.