Every night I sit on the bed with my journal and before I have time to think about it, I draw a picture of Bello. At first he was literally inside my body, like a Koala Bear backpack worn on the front, his head facing out. I loved the image and clung to the comfort it provided. He wasn't gone, he was even closer. As days went by I began to draw just his head, like in the image above. And eventually us side by side. Lately I have been drawing him with Soupy. I am not in the picture.

What a spot. On the days that I feel better in my heart, I feel worse in my mind. I am sickened that I am moving on. And he is not.

I wonder if he is feeling that same thing.