I feel quite beautiful tonight. I putter around the kitchen with a glass of wine. The classical station is tuned in. I am standing at the sink with the day coming to an end outside the window. Bello sleeps on the red braided rug in front of the stove. I am taking a new homeopathic remedy and it is having a positive effect on my state of mind. I am feeling better. So much better that I attended my first social gathering in weeks. A naked lady at Renee's house. I came away with a pair of black jeans, a band-aid colored striped t-shirt, a shell colored trench coat and Maggie's old sweater with the elbow patches that I have been coveting for years despite its poor state. I am missing a certain person. A dear friend. No, a dear lover that I still turn to in times of great sorrow. But also in times of great joy or maybe, all the time. I am talking to you- telling you about my recent losses and successes and the boring essentials. And hoping that I will run into you one of these days. What will I feel? What will you feel? Almost six months have passed and I still think that you are right next to me.