I have been walking around in a fog. Slack face, dull eyes, lots of sighing. I can't say that I give a shit about anything other than the ongoing saga surrounding the dogs. And yet, I am aware that if someone asked me what was wrong, why tears were streaming down my face in yoga or why I haven't called back in weeks, I would hesitate to say that all of this sadness and grief and utter despondency...was over a dog. Not a person. An animal. Am I overreacting? Am I overindulging? I mean, dogs are awesome but are they worth all of this? Are they worthy? Yes. Today I walked on the treadmill at the Rec Center. On my way home I thought about stopping by the grocery store for cashews but I had been away from Bello for an hour and wanted to see him as soon as I could. I have felt this way every day for the last twelve years. I am happiest in his presence. I am stilled. And so I made lunch at home and we walked to the park. I ate, he sniffed the air. I read, he dozed. The day was blue and cold and we both noticed. This book is so good I said and he looked at me in response. He simply accepted this information without comment. He mentioned feeling a bit snacky even though he just ate lunch. I nodded that I was not surprised and smiled at his predictability. We ambled home, each of us keeping the other's forelegs within our peripheral vision. Just a dog. True. Just a goddamn good dog.

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