My biggest indulgence this Thanksgiving wasn't turkey and pie. It was simply being out of the house and around people. I have been on a strict diet of designing with no outside stimulation. No shows, no dinners, movies or drinks with friends. No dancing, apple gathering or bookstore browsing. No hot chocolate. Just me in the studio focusing exclusively on this project. For months. It is an exercise in self will and discipline, similar in many ways to a mediation. If I continue to stay in it, if I continue to hold still, my resistance weakens and the sitting becomes easier. If I move, I'm back at the beginning again.
On Thanksgiving I went to Sarah Coderre's and thoroughly savored the talk and touch of others. The next day I wanted more. Not less. Not back into the studio. Out to the movies! Not by myself, with everyone! And I clawed around looking for stimulation but knew, in my shortness of breath, in the tugging at my heart, that I had made prior plans. And so last night I texted Penelope and explained that I could not come to her house with a bottle of wine and a face mask. I had a date with a dress and needed to stay home. And with that decision I turned back toward the thing I was resisting and went toward it. And immediately felt my resistance slacken. Settle down. And just sit with it.