Tonight I made acorn squash soup in chicken stock with Cherimoya chillies and molasses. Blended. I wanted to tell Luke I bought a chicken. He liked it when I ate meat. I wanted to invite him over to share this meal. I wanted to see him. I want to see you, if you're reading this. But I think you are not. Every point of contact has been severed. I have refrained from talking about my break-up. Our dissolution is ours alone. Even though I have wanted to shout, in words, in this journal, how much I missed him. How I miss him everyday. I miss you everyday. But I am not supposed to reach out to him. Is this reaching? Let him be, if you truly love him. Keep away, disappear. It will be just like it never happened...

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