I am going to write this post and get on with my day. It has been a hard morning.

Last night I decided to cancel Bello's appointment. I was in a literal panic at around 12:30am and didn't know what to do. The idea of sending Bello in to have his abdomen cut open and an organ removed seemed like the wrong decision. He is old and his body is expressing fatigue in many ways. The lump on his spleen is just one of them. To sign him up for major surgery at this stage feels aggressive and crude. It feels misplaced. If I am putting quality of life first, then he would rather take a trip to Salty Dog for a rawhide (which is what we are doing today instead).

Josh and I got Soupy and Bello when we were in our mid-twenties. We took them into our lives as if they were our children. We have loved them with all our might and then some. They are more than dogs. They are our family. And they led us to become better people.

So Bello has a mass on his spleen. ok. I will love that part of him too. He is whole today, round, furry and in my bed staring at me instead of in the hospital. Today we are together.