Mary and I started to watch a movie last night but ended up talking instead. And we realized that there is a romantic element in women that perhaps does not exist in men... I know, totally incorrect gender politics and a broad generalization but honestly, this is what nighttime, couch time, girl time sounds like. We realized that we are always romanticizing someone. Always. A name is always at the ready. Even if we have been single for years and have not met anyone notable in all that time- it will be the last boyfriend in that case. Or even if we are casually dating someone who is not "the one" or even "the one for now", he is still the one to analyze, wish had called, emailed or texted. The need for someone to think about is so strong that it outweighs the actual subject. Who he is does not matter so much. Because the alternative- no one in the slot- is much worse. It is so unbearably flat, boring, bleak, lonely, that we are willing to let anyone fill the void. Fine. He'll do. But he is only a place holder so don't be dissappointed when he does not meet your needs or provide fulfillment. Reserve your big feelings for actual, tangible, physical, consuming love. In the meantime, thank the place holder for keeping the seat warm.

And boys... maybe don't do this? Boys can just wake up and go about their day and go to sleep without a deep sigh and at least some reference in that night's journal entry? And if this is the case, that explains a lot.