(the door leads to my design studio in what was originally the nursery) All I want to do is be alone in my room. Get under the covers and read. Fold laundry. Sit on the edge of the sink and soak my feet. Write in my journal so that the same thoughts stop going around and around in my head. Clean off surfaces. Re-measure Bello's tumors (so much smaller!). Lay with my head turned toward the window watching the grey sky, the dusk, the dark.